Was going through old crap on my comp and deleting it, when I found this gem. I don't have the date on it, but this is where the hot hooker thing started. For anybody who wasn't there, imagine Stephen Hawking saying these things to you...
'Mooniekate' has joined the chat.
'ladyjallyn' has joined the chat.
'Bitty' has joined the chat.
ladyjallyn: Hello Bitty and Kate
ladyjallyn: hello
Mooniekate: bitty hawking
Bitty: Hellllooooooo
ladyjallyn: shhh
ladyjallyn: lol
Mooniekate: zomg
ladyjallyn: lawl for the win
Bitty: Ohhh we're being very very quiet
ladyjallyn: yeah hehe
Mooniekate: oh oh
ladyjallyn: u click on the tts bitty
ladyjallyn: make sure its enabled
Bitty: yes
ladyjallyn: ooo
Bitty: AHAHAH
ladyjallyn: aaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Mooniekate: unfer my umbrella ella ella eh eh eh
Bitty: This is hilarious
ladyjallyn: eeeeeeeeee
Mooniekate: lllllllllllllllll
ladyjallyn: squeeeeeeeeeee
ladyjallyn: Peeeeeeeeee
Bitty: meeeeeeeeeeeee
Mooniekate: iiiiiiiiiiiiiii
ladyjallyn: gahy
ladyjallyn: haha
Bitty: Lol
Mooniekate: gahy?
ladyjallyn: gay
Bitty: gahy?
ladyjallyn: GAY
Bitty: GAY!
ladyjallyn: YAY!
Bitty: Haha
Mooniekate: GAY!?
Bitty: GAY!?
Bitty: !?!?!?!?!
ladyjallyn: Gay?
Bitty: GAY!
ladyjallyn: Gay!
Mooniekate: GAY?!
ladyjallyn: Yes
ladyjallyn: YES
Bitty: We knew it
ladyjallyn: YES!
Bitty: oh god yes
ladyjallyn: hahah!
ladyjallyn: QAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Mooniekate: o god yes!
Bitty: Oh god yes
ladyjallyn: Oh god yes?
ladyjallyn: YES!
ladyjallyn: Yes
Bitty: Oh yeah
Mooniekate: NO!
Bitty: Oh ya!
ladyjallyn: Yeah
ladyjallyn: stop
ladyjallyn: dont!
Bitty: Nope
ladyjallyn: lol
Mooniekate: don't touch me there!
Bitty: NOOOO!
ladyjallyn: U like it bizatch
Bitty: xD
Bitty: bizitch
Bitty: spinach
ladyjallyn: Be Zatch
Mooniekate: biz atch
Bitty: Be nazztay
Bitty: xD
ladyjallyn: Beastiallity
Mooniekate: biz (h)atch
ladyjallyn: hahah
ladyjallyn: hahi daid it that time
Bitty: I'm all up in that bizatch
ladyjallyn: said
ladyjallyn: we know bitty
Mooniekate: biz(h)atch
ladyjallyn: its good in the hood
Bitty: I'm pretty gangster
Bitty: word
Mooniekate: don't me a menace
Mooniekate: be
Mooniekate: pee
Bitty: peeeee
Mooniekate: poo
Bitty: pewp
Mooniekate: shit
Bitty: bewbs
Mooniekate: bewbs
Mooniekate: boobies
Bitty: Boooooobs
Bitty: Tittles
Mooniekate: funbags
Bitty: titties!
Bitty: xD
Mooniekate: dirty pillows
Bitty: penor!
Bitty: peenor!
Mooniekate: they're all gonna laugh at you
Bitty: Peenore!
Bitty: Peenorez!
Bitty: Vagoos
Mooniekate: vag
Bitty: Vahgoos
Mooniekate: vagde
Mooniekate: vadge
Bitty: Douch bag
Mooniekate: there we go
Bitty: vag wallop
Mooniekate: douche bag
Bitty: vage
Bitty: vige
Bitty: hehe
Bitty: vaj
Mooniekate: vaj mahal
Bitty: xD
Bitty: I still like bizath
Mooniekate: bizatch
Bitty: bizatch*
Bitty: ASStorix
Bitty: *
Mooniekate: assface
Bitty: I am a robot
Mooniekate: assface!
Mooniekate: assface?
Bitty: assface!?
Mooniekate: assface?!
Bitty: toofunny
ladyjallyn: You both need to post
Mooniekate: how dare you
Mooniekate: i know
Bitty: Holla girlfrand
Mooniekate: lol
ladyjallyn: go post
ladyjallyn: grrrrrrr
ladyjallyn: gr
ladyjallyn: girrrrrrr
Mooniekate: gure
ladyjallyn: growl
Bitty: Kaaatelyn go
ladyjallyn: snarl
Mooniekate: guuuure
Mooniekate: guuuuure
ladyjallyn: pokes kate with hot poker in the bum
Bitty: Gor
Mooniekate: ouch
Bitty: in the bum
ladyjallyn: BUNGHOLE!
Mooniekate: double ouch
Bitty: Teepee
ladyjallyn: for the bunghole e oh
Bitty: Corn hole e oh
ladyjallyn: heh
ladyjallyn: the best
Bitty: Corn hole e oh!
ladyjallyn: I need TEE PEE!
Bitty: cornholeoh!
ladyjallyn: tee pee!
ladyjallyn: for my bung hole!
Bitty: Haha so funny
Bitty: She touched his throbbing member
Bitty: xD
ladyjallyn: Dahala's armor felt warm on her shoulders as she saddled her war
ladyjallyn: stallion. She hated horses and this spirited light war horse was
ladyjallyn: no exception. They tended to be headstrong and they smelled bad,
Mooniekate: i like cheese
Bitty: Aslong as it's not dick cheese
Mooniekate: exactly
ladyjallyn: When I graduated from high school last June, my parents gave me a trip to visit my grandparents who were still in Ireland for my birtday
ladyjallyn: I arrived a month ago and i do love it here
ladyjallyn: 'Tis beautiful and fresh, and makes me want to believe the stories about the little folk.
ladyjallyn: And though I am not sure about the existance of the little folk,
ladyjallyn: I must admit to a belief in magic. For what else could it have been?
ladyjallyn: I had ridden my grandfather's horse out to the woods, and was sitting below a tree, on the banks of the river. I had my shoes off,
ladyjallyn: dangling my toes in the water, and I wore cutoffs and a t-shirt
ladyjallyn: besides that. I longed to strip entirely and immerse myself in the
ladyjallyn: cool stream, and the more I thought about it, the better the idea
ladyjallyn: sounded. Finally, looking and listening carefully until I was positive no one was near, I stripped and tossed the t-shirt and shorts
ladyjallyn: by my sneakers on the ground.
Bitty: next to the dead hooker that had been there several weeks
Mooniekate: lol
ladyjallyn: The water was cool, and pleasing in the erotic way its gentle motion lapped against my hot skin.
ladyjallyn: I spun 'round when I heard the crack of a footstep on branches
ladyjallyn: Standing before me was a huge brawn of a man, and carrying a
Bitty: nother dead hooker
Bitty: "crap" I thought
ladyjallyn: huge wooden tree branched
ladyjallyn: shaped like a pahulus
ladyjallyn: I though OMG
ladyjallyn: And i tried to run
ladyjallyn: but he shot me with his dick spunk
ladyjallyn: and I fell uncouncious
ladyjallyn: lol
Mooniekate: now i'm all sticky
ladyjallyn: I thought when i woke up
Mooniekate: best night ever
Bitty: I dreamt of lumberjacks and missed the man I'd run from
ladyjallyn: hahah
Bitty: even if he did kill hookers
Bitty: he was hot
ladyjallyn: hahah
Mooniekate: lol
Mooniekate: he was hot
Mooniekate: he was hawt
ladyjallyn: Glancing up, his hands about to unfasten the hard leather that covered his broad chest, he caught my eyes and smiled as I blushed.
Bitty: He was hawwwwwwt
ladyjallyn: "A shy member of the folke," he chuckled. "Well, I think I'll ust have me a wee bit of a swim here with you, if that be fine?"
ladyjallyn: slowly it dawned... he thought I was one of the faerie
ladyjallyn: He thought I was a nymph, a water nymph most likely.
Bitty: oh how sad I was to realize this hot man was retarded
ladyjallyn: My train of thought derailed as he pulled his soft leather jersey over his head, revealing broad shoulders, also sun-bronzed and strong.
Bitty: Strong from killing hookers, but I was still hella turned on
ladyjallyn: He hooked a hand over the waistband of his trousers and quickly drew them down over his narrow hips. My breath caught in my throat as he stood before me, naked and strong, his intentions clear.
ladyjallyn: His eyes followed my gaze to that part of him which stood out stiff and long from his loins, then he caught my eyes in his again.
ladyjallyn: "A hungry nymph, are ye? Well, I think a wee bit of a swim first,then we'll discuss other matters."
Bitty: I'mma fuck a magical fairy! He yelled and then he cannon balled into the water
ladyjallyn: He walked up onto the rock by me and then down into the water. Once in he called to me, "Jump, nymph! And I'll catch ye!"
ladyjallyn: It was as if I were under a spell. I stood, slowly, seductively, and then waited before jumping. I landed in his arms, a bit harder than either of us intended, knocking him back into the shallow water.
ladyjallyn: We landed in a tangled heap, me on his lap feeling his hardness against the softness of my bottom. I lifted my eyes shyly to his face.
ladyjallyn: He was staring at me again, and before I could react he had pinned my shoulders beneath his hands and claimed my mouth for a kiss.
Bitty: I was totally surprised I thought he just wanted to play checkers
ladyjallyn: His lips moved against mine with a deep hunger, and my lips parted automatically to allow his tongue entrance.
Bitty: and must REALLY like checkers
ladyjallyn: His tongue slid into my mouth, caressing the roof, sliding along and discovering every crevace as it fenced with my own tongue.
ladyjallyn: I moaned against his mouth and felt him grow harder beneath me, if that were possible.
ladyjallyn: When are lips finally broke apart, he growled huskily,
Bitty: and turned into a wolf, crap, I knew he was magical
ladyjallyn: "If to lie with a nymph is death, then 'tis a death I gladly welcome!"
Bitty: hence the dead hookers
ladyjallyn: I think I cried out, but the loss wasn't for long as he lifted my hips and settled me gently against his throbbing member.
Bitty: unfortunately my penis got in the way
Mooniekate: lol
ladyjallyn: He positioned me carefully and I slid down, feeling him hard and thick, filling me until I thought I would split.
ladyjallyn: My bum hurt but it wasnt that bad
ladyjallyn: Gee the boys at school are gonna shit bricks i thought to myself
ladyjallyn: sop this was the magic of boy on boy i thought
ladyjallyn: I could get used to this
Bitty: I however will be shitting pancakes
ladyjallyn: Creamy pancakes
ladyjallyn: gimme the chocolate I screamed
ladyjallyn: and he did
ladyjallyn: yeah what I said
ladyjallyn: and what she said...
ladyjallyn: Then slowly, oh so slowly, we began to move. He slid in and out, deeper with every thrust.
ladyjallyn: I could feel myself grow damper, and I know I moaned and whimpered with pleasure.
ladyjallyn: His fingers slipped between us, caressing that nodule until I suddenly felt spasms of pleasure wash over me and cried out in delight.
ladyjallyn: As I started to come I felt his arms stiffen around me as he thrust deep, and felt the warmth of his juices within me.
Bitty: Crap, I did not want a baby as a soo vin eer
ladyjallyn: We looked at each other, and he commented softly,
Bitty: Damn yous a sexy bitch
ladyjallyn: I laughed as he picked me up and carried me back to the rock,
Mooniekate: death by child support
ladyjallyn: lieing me down beside him. My head on his shoulder, my body curved to
ladyjallyn: the contours of his, I fell asleep.
ladyjallyn: The end
Mooniekate: what? no death?
ladyjallyn: lol no its porn
Bitty: When I awoke he was gone a note left in his place
ladyjallyn: thanks for the sex
Bitty: Sorry you're such a slut, cant marry you
ladyjallyn: ps I have pherpes
Bitty: bye!
ladyjallyn: lol
Bitty: Also I framed you for the hookers
Bitty: Heart
ladyjallyn: When I awoke, the sun was lower in the sky, my hair ws dry with stuff in it
Mooniekate: you were the third mythical creature i fucked that day
Bitty: and I cried because I remembered I just took advantage of a retarded person
Mooniekate: first it was a gryphon with the head of an eagle and the body of an eagle
Mooniekate: oh shit he fucked an eagle
Bitty: then a centaur, that human part looked very much like a donkey head though
ladyjallyn: I was onca again fully clothed. Minus the neakers I had taken off to dangle in the stream. Except for feeling exhausted I found no sign that I had had sex. Maybe I had dreamed it.
Bitty: Maybe he really had hit me with a giant wooden phalus
ladyjallyn: My Irish relatives have taken to calling me a wood Nymph but what I really think they want to say is that I am a Nympho and I love wood
Mooniekate: much better story than twilight
Bitty: Yeeeeaaah bitch
